i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
