So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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