Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
