Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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