Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Randomize
