I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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