Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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