I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
