just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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