Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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