my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
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