I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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