So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I think people are normalizing furries
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
