1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize