READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
