i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
