Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Your cock deserves a montage
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
