Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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