I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
