i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
you never un-have a 4some
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
