Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
