Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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