All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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