I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
