Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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