He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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