dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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