And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
