Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
