Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
