Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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