U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
