sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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