I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
