He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
