She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
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