he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
