I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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