If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize