Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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