I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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