I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
