Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Pants are for mortals
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
