I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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