Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
