I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
