Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
