my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
