so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
