Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
