grandma shit on top of the toilet
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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