when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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