I like my sex mixed with concussions.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
