Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
