thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
