The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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