My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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