So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
