i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
